"YOU DIRTY WHORE!"
Everytime I look in the mirror that thought sends a sharp tingle through every inch of my delicate, once wholesome and unstained, body.
"I didn't ask for this, it's not what I wanted," I try to consolingly stroke my poisoned mind & soul.
I have been used in every way and in every place you can imagine - so much so, I now feel empty and purposeless if I don't continue with the lifestyle I've been forced into. Maybe this is what my maker intended for me but I am sickened green with jealousy when I see others share a bond so special with just one - THE ONE, I guess. Black? White? Brown? I won't discriminate. From the crack of dawn until my fatigued body is put away (for the night)...Who knew being so intimate with so many can make you feel so alone? I yearn for that closeness to one, hell, even two if she insists.
That "she" I'm referring to is the broad who can take full credit for my constant state of unconsciousness - the one right there on your right, scroll up a little. Yes, I belong to her. I am, I guess what you would call, her "prized-possesion" and she makes sure everyone knows of me and what I can do.
I do not believe there is a way out for me. This is it. Draining the hue out of me keeps her moving forward with a smile and she won't stop until her maker lays her to rest. And so I will serve her, and hope that she continues to care for me since no one else will...
The prostitute venting above is my personal paintbrush. Yea, she's been around the block and back, always ready for round 2. A soldier in my eyes - the best I got. What would this world be without a little color? Insipid, beyond just blah.
Letting your life's pallette run dry or just be monotonous is not experiencing this stupefying world as it was intended to be. It's like going to an art gallery and admiring bare walls and gazing into blank canvases.
Hardly anything we see, feel, do, or know is as simple as black and white - there's always a little gray area. My gray area is usually orange.
Spice up your wardrobe with some color...its such drag seeing a closet full of blacks, grays and beige! I know black is slimming, I KNOW! And it can also be super sexy but your entire mood will do a 180 (if you need it to) if you accentuated it with color. Even if it's just sexy red underwear when you're having one of those 'fat days' (sorry "bloated"- we all have been there ladies, even u skinny bitches) and it might just provide the lil boost u need. Maybe not a literal physical change (lol) but mentally - enough to get your fat ass out the door and maybe to a gym (Ha!! jk).
The colors we use to represent ourselves tell the world a little story about us. So next time u walk out the door be sure u know what you're trying to say.
x
Mel
